Du-Punzel
by Miyame
Summary: Du-Punzel, is trapped in a tower by the evil Witch Relena. Read this hilarious trip down fairy-tale lane. *THIS STORY IS INCOMPLETE* But read what I have anyways! R+R plz!


Du-Punzel Uncut  
  
[ Rapunzel isn't mine blah blah. Neither is Gundam Wing, Blah blah..We know the story. Good, right, on we go!]  
  
And the characters are...  
  
Narrator 1...Wufei  
Narrator 2...Drunken Heero  
Mother...Lady Une  
Father...Treiz  
Witch...Relena Peacecraft  
Rapunzel...Duo Maxwell  
Prince...Hilde[The retarded monkey]  
Townsperson 1 and two...Quatre and Trowa  
  
Setting...A colony far, far away...  
  
CHAPTER ONE-  
Wufei: Once upon a time in a colony far, far away, there lived a good man and his wife.  
Drunken Heero: Whoah! Wait a minuite!  
Wufei: What?  
Drunken Heero: Is that the best you can do? I mean no offencse, but all fairy tales start out with "Once upon a time." Where's the sport in that?  
Wufei: Im trying to tell the story of Du-Punzel. Do you mind?  
Drunken Heero: No not really, besides they got that story all wrong.  
Wufei: Well, maybe you would like to tell it?  
Drunken Heero: No, you just keep on going and i'll tell you where you make a mistake.  
Wufei: Great. Anyways, as I was saying, once upon a time in a colony far, far away lived a good man and his wife. They lived in a quaint little house in the ghetto. It was a nice house except there was a problem.  
  
[ Trowa and Quatre walk in ]  
  
Trowa: Did you hear about the Witch, Relena?  
Quatre: No, what?  
Trowa: Well, it seems that she's moved right next door to the quaint little house in the ghetto.  
Wufei: That's right. The witch, Relena had moved right in next door.  
Quatre: No, next to those two dear people?  
Trowa: Yes  
Quatre: Do you think we should warn them?  
Trowa: Im sure they already know.  
Drunken Heero: See, like that. Why do people always think witches are bad?  
Wufei: It's a fairy tale, all witches are bad. Especially Relena. Now pay attention you sad drunk.  
Drunken Heero: Sorry, Nachos.  
Quatre: Oh look, here comes Treiz on his trusty Tallgeese.  
  
[ Treiz enters ]  
  
Trowa: Excuse me, sir, but did you know that the Which Relena just moved in next door to you?  
Treiz: Which witch is that witch?  
Quatre: The witch, Relena next door, she grows radishes.  
Treiz: Oh her, well that explains the reeking smell. And I don't think it's the Radishishes.  
Trowa: Yes, that witch!  
Treiz: Oh crikey, I better get home and tell my wife. She loves Radishes, which is a problem because of the witch I mean..oh never mind.  
Drunken Heero: Man, who writes this stuff?!  
Trowa: So--he rushes home where he found his preciouse, split-personalized wife who at the time was pregnant with their first child.  
  
Treiz: I--witch...moved..witch.  
Lady Une: What are you saying? I sent you out to get some chicken wings. Now where are they?!  
Treiz: Forgot..witch...help...  
Lady Une: You FORGOT?! Do I look like I can get up and get them myself? I'm having a baby here! I knew I should have written it on your forhead. Men with four eyebrows. Humph.  
Treiz: We have to move! A witch moved in next door!  
Lady Une: A witch?  
Treiz: A Relena witch. With Radishes.  
Lady Une: So that's what reeks! I thought it was just a heaping pile of cow dung under my pillow! That too but, it was---wait, did you say Radishes?!  
Wufei: At that sound of the word radishes, the woman's lips began to water, her stomach growled, and her lips quivered.  
Drunken Heero: Just say nuuu, honey, you can do it!  
Lady Une: I looove radishes!  
Treiz: Yes, I know. But we can't eat hers or else she'll put an evil spell on us!  
Lady Une: Look, im hungry and pregnant, and both of those are your fault. Now since I don't have any chicken, thank you very much, I expect some radishes, NOW!  
Treiz: But dear..  
Lady Une: NOW! If I don't get one of those radishes I'm gonna die.  
Treiz: But sweetie.  
Lady Une: I see the light..  
Treiz: Please don't.  
Lady Une: Im fadin', fadin' fast..good-bye world. Not that it was all that thrilling anyways..  
Treiz: Now come on..  
Lady Une: You'll have to help my mother plan the funeral.  
Treiz: Okay! I'll get you some radishes, just don't mention your mother.  
Lady Une: Fine by me, she's dead for all I know. But now that I have your word--go do my bidding! Still, not as good as chicken..  
  
Wufei: So Treiz climbed the wall of the witch Relena's garden ever so quietly so as not to waken her.  
Treiz: Crikey, calm down. The smell isn't that bad, just hold your breath and grab a couple radishes and get back home. Grab and run, grab and run, run, run, run.  
Drunken Heero: To the nearest srhink, this guy's life is more messed up then the presidential election.  
Wufei: When suddenly the Witch Relena jumped out and grabbed him!  
Relena: What are you doing?  
Treiz: Please, I um..my wife, she's pregnant. And erm-don't put a spell on me!!  
Relena: Why would I want to put a spell on you? I know you. Your my neighbor. Your wife is pregnant right?  
Treiz: Yeah, and she's smacking for your radishes..she'll diee without them!  
Relena: Well you should just ask me. I would of given them to you.  
Treiz: Well, may I have some then?  
Relena: On one condition--you must give me your first child.  
Wufei: So the man agreed--  
Drunken Heero: Hold up that is not right.  
Wufei: Well, that's what she said.  
Drunken Heero: Yeah, but everyone always cuts off her speech. There was more to that statement.  
Relena: As a voice student, ive always wanted to teach someone to sing.  
Drunken Heero: See.  
  
Wufei: Good god man. So the man agreed with the witch and brought the radishes back home to his wife. When his wife had their butiful baby and named it Du-Punzel.  
Drunken Heero: And as promised, her father took her to the witch for singing lessons.  
Wufei: Oh really, then how do you explain the parents never seeing Du-Punzel again?  
Drunken Heero: I was getting to that. Well, on the way home Du-Punzels mother decided to stop off for fsome chicken. Unfortunatly she choked on some chicken and died... The father went insande and became a hermit, living only with chickens on a farm in Kansas until he died.  
Wufei: Kansas..?  
Drunken Heero: That's right, way over the rainbow. So, Relena- the witch, decided to take her under her stinky wing. But the colonypeople never heard the whole story, so they assumed Du-Punzel was kidnapped.  
Wufei: And why forever in a tower?  
Drunken Heero: Better singing acoustics.  
Wufei: In the middle of a dumpyard?  
Drunken Heero: No distractions. The years went by and Du-punzels voice could be heard far and wide.  
  
Quatre: Whats is that nose?  
Trowa: It's the cry of Du-Punzel.  
Quatre: Well, can he shut his trap?  
Trowa: He will, if you shut your pie-hole.  
Quatre: Look here comes The retarded monkey prince, Hilde.  
Hilde: Ah, morning my good peasesnts.  
Trowa and Quatre: Peasents? At least im not retarted.  
Hilde: What is that enchanting sound I hear?  
Trowa: You mean that horrible noise?  
Hilde: I do?  
Quatre: It is the cry of Du-Punzel.  
Hilde: Hot-Damn! God find me-self this Du-Punzel kid!  
Wufei: Well the prince was so intrigued with Du-punzel she vowed to free the poor guy and marry him.  
Hilde: I vow to free the poor guy and marry him.  
Wufei: So he set off in search of him.  
Hilde: So I set off in search of him.  
Drunken Heero: Y'know you have to move to find him.  
Hilde: I do? Well then! Off I go..to find uh..  
Quatre: Du-Punzel.  
Hilde: Right-O, off I go to find Du-Punzel.  
  
Wufei: Meanwhile, in the forest Du-Punzel and Relena where working on their daily voice lesson.  
Relena: Now try it again.  
Du-Punzel: LAAERAKFFN  
Relena: No! Your not LISTENING.  
Du-Punzel: I can't listen, Im having a bad day.  
Relena: And why is that.  
Du-Punzel: Because, you reek. And, I need another mirror.  
Relena: But you have thirty-seven in your room.  
Du-Punzel: Im a sexy bitch! I need more! Someone as handsome as me should be able to admore themselves. Not look at ugly people.  
Relena: But, im the only one you ever see.  
Du-Punzel: I know.  
Relena: Sheesh! That does it. Im fet up with your bad attitude. I took you into my stinky wing and gave you a butload of mirrors but I get sqat. So-your grounded, sing scales all day because your dumb and im dumber.  
  
  
Wufei: So Du-Punzel was left in the tower alone, singing her scales. 


End file.
